It’s inevitable that in some point in your life, you’re going to struggle with something: your career, your family or just your own personal thoughts of self-professed inadequacies. While this is absolutely normal from time to time, what happens when your struggles start to consume you? How do you move on from them and get back to a life where you actually live versus just survive?
Know that where you are is only temporary
Even though you may feel totally consumed with whatever your struggle is and can’t see an end in sight, it doesn’t mean that one doesn’t exist. It may be right around the corner or you may have to walk a little longer to find it, but it’s there somewhere.
Think back to your first real and true “boyfriend”. Remember that you thought he was an amazing, cute, funny and totally irreplaceable guy that you couldn’t live without? Well, that is, until he broke up with you to date someone else and crushed your heart into a million little shards.
It hurt so much you thought the world was going to end, right? You just knew that the air was going to be sucked out of your lungs and you would cease to exist because your heart had collapsed under all the pressure. And, did it?
No. Eventually (hopefully), you got over him and realized that there was life after him. What seemed like a major tragedy was actually very livable in the end and probably turned out to be for the better.
Where you are now is also very livable, even if it doesn’t quite feel like it at the moment. Something willchange, whether it is the actual situation or your thoughts and feelings about it. It will morph into something different than it is right now so don’t feel like you’re going to be stuck here forever because you won’t be.
Understand that if you feed your struggle, it will grow
This is where a lot of us go wrong when we’re having a hard time with something. We dwell on it and watch it grow bigger and bigger until it absolutely consumes us, not realizing that we’re the ones making it that way. We have been feeding it our energy and fears, allowing it to become something larger than life.
It’s like when you’re lying on the couch because you don’t feel well. Your head hurts, your body aches and you’re just plain old miserable. The more you think about how lousy you feel the worse your condition gets.
Then, unexpectedly, the phone rings and you’re chatting with a good friend. Before you know it, you’re sitting up, laughing and talking and you’re starting to feel a little better. Was it a miracle recovery? Not likely.
It’s that you quit focusing on the negative in your world (how you felt) and instead concentrated on something more enjoyable (chatting with a friend). The end result is that you fed the good, making it bigger and starved the bad, making it smaller.
So, if you want to release the chains that your struggle has on you, you have to quit feeding it. Don’t give it all of your time and attention. Instead, direct your focus on good things so that you nurture them and allow them to overtake your life and give you happiness.
Help someone else who is struggling
You may be wondering what you can do to help others if you are having a tough time yourself, but doing so is one of the easiest ways to change your path from one of despair and gloom to one of hope and promise. When you give inspiration and motivation to others, it comes back to you twofold. Why?
Some of it is probably karma. Do good for others and life will be good to you. It’s the idea that you’ll get what you give.
However, it also has to do with realizing that you’re not the only one who has hurts and pains. There are others out there in this great big world that feel overwhelmed too. And, a lot of the times, their struggles are worse than our own.
It’s like when you get in a disagreement with your man and are complaining about it to a friend. You’re explaining how he’s such a jerk and you don’t know why you put up with him. You no more than finish your sentence and your friend tells you about their friend who just lost their husband in a freak accident. Ouch.
It kind of puts your stupid little fight in perspective, right? You suddenly realize that while you have your rifts from time to time, you really are in love and want to be together. Now you’re thankful for your guy because you feel lucky to still have him in your life.
Set out to help someone else who is struggling with some demon in their world and create that shift in perspective for yourself. Maybe you have a friend or family member that could use a listening ear or a neighbor who just lost a pet and would like someone to console them.
Or, perhaps you could donate some time with a charitable organization that assists those in need. Choose a cause that is near and dear to your heart and discover that your helping others will help you tremendously in return.
In life, pain is inevitable but struggling is optional. It’s up to you what you do when life hits you a curveball. You can either sit in the outfield and cry about the fact that the ball didn’t come exactly to your glove or you can chase it, pick it up and still save the play.
The choice is yours. I hope you go for the second option.
